I like to write about creation and creativity, and I don’t usually write about destruction. This week I am learning they can be quite similar.
One of my current studio objectives is to destroy some of my creations. The vision that usually comes to mind when I think about someone destroying their art is that classic scene of a character so amped up with their dissatisfaction that they violently crumple up the paper and toss it (and then it doesn’t land in the waste basket, which is the final straw that makes the person cry and give up).
But this is not that. This is my magical disassembly ceremony. It’s a positive ritual. Embodied. Intentionally time consuming. A little physically demanding. Respectful and enjoyable.
Within the last several years, experiments and mistakes have taken the form of what one might label as “paintings”, which have been slowly piling up facing toward the wall in a dark spot in my studio. There are around twenty of them now. And currently, I am disassembling them, one by one.
For me this means squatting on the floor listening to soft atmospheric music and removing staples from the backs of canvasses one by one by hand (with a handheld tool, I’m not bleeding, it’s not that kind of ritual), gradually freeing up the fabric from the frame so I can re-stretch new canvas over the wooden supports and panels.
Wow, some of the staples are in there real deep. I guess I was serious about it.
Each staple removed is a small moment to be thankful for what great teachers mistakes and experiments are. I honor these material things I am disassembling with my same hands that constructed them, and seeding intentions to repurpose their bones for new material experiments, rather than looking at them as failures I need to get out of my sight.
An important reminder: There’s no such thing as a failure in making art. Failure is a concept we invented for other purposes. It is not necessary to contaminate our experience of creativity with the concept of failure.
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Back to my ceremony. I am discovering that to destroy is not the same as to discard. While it would be instantly gratifying to just trash the paintings and feel the immediate peace of removed clutter (something I do love), I am instead reeling in the meaning and finding integration in this activity of slowing down. As someone who is a recovering productivity machine, pausing the creation to offer my presence to disassembly is a stark and uncomfortable alternative to a quick reset. It requires discipline - the very good kind.
How are destruction and creation similar? Both of them are processes of transformation and change, but expressed in different directions. In one direction, something new comes into existence, in the other, something departs from its existence by returning back into smaller parts.
Both creation and destruction are important for a cycle of growth and renewal.
Also, of course it is both sustainable and financially wise to upcycle materials! After I finish the destroying part, I will have 20 new frames to stretch new canvas on with less new materials used and less money spent.
Some choice canvas scraps might be pinned up or sewn together to create a memory of experimentation and trials, and how they can tell a story together.
Your invitation to destroy:
Is there something hiding around in your home or studio that you are inspired to creatively re-purpose?
Preparing something old for a new project is a creative session in itself. See it as a magical and deeply meaningful ritual piece of your process, instead of a task that feels tempting to bypass!
I am finding alignment in this, on these first days of spring, thinking about intentionally preparing for renewal.
Yours vibrantly in creation and destruction,
-Kristen
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Explore my paintings for sale that I did not deem worthy for destruction. ˘◡˘
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Have a beautiful weekend and happy Spring ✿
Love these thoughts! I've been using old proofs of packaging designs for all kinds of little projects with my kids (painted school Valentines, stencils, Minecraft-themed party decorations I refuse to buy at Walmart) and it feels great to use every last scrap of a material I churned through in the pursuit of perfection and precision in such a loose and playful way.