Hello ☼
Do you ever come to a realization that there is something about yourself you’ve been accidentally fighting against, avoiding, trying to minimize, trying to fix?
Lately for me, that thing is movement. My mind, and my creative practice, has so much movement lately. And I admit, I often have an aversion to this. I would prefer steady calmness. It’s not that I can’t focus at all, it’s just that the idea of choosing only one path of curiosity to follow and for that to be ‘my thing’ feels limiting and unnatural to me. So, lately my practice has been feeling more like I am multi-tasking, but I have been experimenting with just giving myself permission to be a dedicated follower of my energy, even if its a bit back and forth, and noticing how it feels to cooperate.
Maybe there isn’t just one single purpose.
Maybe there isn’t just one single practice.
The movement, the mental chaos, and the multitude of curiosities feel like fundamental and familiar functions of my nature by birth. I am wondering if I can just accept this and not always fight it. Movement is an essential part of creativity. What if it is not something to fix or control, and what happens when I just align myself with it sometimes?
Here’s my current example. I have 4-ish different series of paintings going on simultaneously right now and I am getting deep into all of them, tapping in and out of them. Some mental discomfort has been coming from that, so I have been working on understanding why. Part of the discomfort is the rookie mistake that I always think I am past but never am - the mistake of merging my sense of identity with the art. This means when I go in a new direction, explore a new idea, or something shifts, it’s a surprise challenge to the comfort of my ego who thinks it knows who “I am”.
Furthermore, I am also learning that tapping into one direction doesn’t necessarily take me away from another. This is a strange concept that is really hard for my linear thinking mind to make sense of, specially and conceptually. I’ve noticed that these different projects are things I can step in and out of. I can bounce back and forth, step in, step out, let go. I can take a pause from one and bring fresh energy to another. I can take breaths, let things marinate, and let the different projects cross-pollenate as I move back and forth among them.
Right now I am seeing my separate creative investigations not as directions that are competing for my attention, but instead, as different points in the same constellation. A connected, expanding, open-ended constellation.
And you can too!
For me right now in the context of this letter I am talking about paintings, for you right now this could mean a variety of things you’re interested in or passionate about (I am also there with you too, several interests I am deeply invested in), not even all pertaining to art. You are multidimensional, and you are allowed to be.
Practice doesn’t have to be a single point. It can be a constellation.
Seeing creative practice as a network rather than one single path can un-block vital connections, and open up space for freedom. Freedom means that you can pursue any curiosity that feels right in the moment. Pursuing one direction does not mean abandoning another. Never abandoning means you can always return.
Some questions:
How many deep interests, creative or otherwise, do you have?
Do you feel more compelled to pick one, or have multiple things going on?
Is this difficult to navigate, or is it just me?
Do you feel relief when you look at your practice, or even life purpose, as a constellation rather than a single point?
What does the idea of connected expansion bring up to you?
You can have multiple areas of interests, endless different creative projects, and a multitude of life purposes. And better yet, you don’t have to be defined by them. The art you make today does not define you or determine what you are required or expected to do tomorrow. You have permission to change, move, rest, pivot, return, expand.
Keep practicing ♡
-Kristen